My friend Pattie has one of those genuinely fun and outgoing personalities that most every shy girl envies.  No matter where she is or what she's doing, she has this warm way of reaching out to people so that they feel welcome and accepted exactly as they are.  For people who know Pattie, it is no surprise that for the last twenty-plus years, she has organized a group of people to spread holiday cheer on Christmas Day by singing carols at a senior living center near her home.

Last week, I joined Pattie, her husband Fred, and a group of other people for the first time, happily if not warily making an exception to my "No Singing in Public for Shelly" rule.  As I watched resident after resident's face light up when Pattie gave them a hug and spent a few moments visiting with them, I was reminded of the following quote by Barbara De Angelis:

"Love and kindness are never wasted.  They always make a difference."

Like Pattie does on Chistmas Day and every day, you really can share your love and kindness with people anytime of year.  Think about it:  Where can YOU spread some holiday cheer today?

My sister has always been one of those people who shops ahead for the holidays.  She somehow manages to have everyone’s gift bought and wrapped before I’ve barely managed to register that it’s December, and this year is no different than any other year.  So, with two days to go before Christmas, my shopping is still not done.  But thankfully, my brilliant friend Jyn once shared an idea for the perfect “Love Gift”…one we can give any day of the year!   

When Jyn’s step mother, Jody, was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple years ago, Jyn wanted to send Jody something to encourage her and also show her how grateful she was for all the times Jody had supported her.  Jyn couldn’t think of anything she and her husband, Steve, could buy to show Jody how much she meant to them, so she decided to fill a small photo album with encouraging words and pictures from family and friends so Jody would have something to look through whenever she needed a boost (and especially when those chemo days were particularly rough).  Jyn’s “Love Gift” (as Jody later called it) is something a fully-recovered Jody still treasures and looks through today!

Helen Keller made one of the greatest observations ever when she said, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.”  Whether you have time to get a bunch of cards and pictures from other people, or you make an album for a loved one that contains great stuff all from you, you can do so anytime, in any way, and without any budget constraints.  You can also do so without needing a reason, diagnosis, or holiday.

Did you know that, according to statistics from the National Eating Disorders Association (www.nationaleatingdisorders.org),

In the United States, as many as 10 million females and 1 million males are fighting a life and death battle with an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia.

Over one-half of teenage girls and nearly one-third of teenage boys use unhealthy weight control behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, smoking cigarettes, vomiting, and taking laxatives.

42% of 1st-3rd grade girls want to be thinner.

Love My Shape was started by Megan Woolever who, after years of dieting and hating her curves, finally learned to Love Her Shape (you can read more about Megan’s story at www.lovemyshape.org). Her goal in creating Love My Shape is "that every woman will love her body for its unique beauty, and that young women will grow up in a society that celebrates their own unique shape."  Megan is inviting other women to log on and share their stories because, as she writes on the site, "When we hear ourselves in each other's story, we realize that the power to change is inside of each of us as we connect together in love and purpose."

Drew Barrymore once said, "I used to look in the mirror and feel shame.  I look in the mirror now and I absolutely love myself."  Are YOU ready to love your shape and love yourself? 

One of my best friends in the world is one of those people who, like many of us women, was raised to always say please and thank you.  But, like many of us, she also learned another habit, one that was not so good to develop:  Pleasing other people at the expense of herself.  Growing up, if there was cleaning to do around the house or younger siblings that needed to be watched, she would do it, albeit reluctantly because it often meant missing out on movies, slumber parties, or other fun stuff.  In her relationships, she has cleaned, painted, landscaped, mountain biked, and worked longer hours to bring in extra money to make her partner happy rather than because she wanted to.  Can anyone relate?  I know I certainly can! 

Recently, my awesome, amazing, beautiful friend experienced the break up of her marriage and she decided there was another break up it was time for her to experience, one that she would welcome and that was long overdue.  She decided it was time to end her lifelong habit of pleasing others.  She realized that working hard to please another person is not the key to a successful marriage…or a happy life.  She realized that since she will never be able to please everyone, she might as well please herself for a change.  She’s also going to let herself enjoy every second! 

Margaret Thatcher shared a great habit years ago when she said, “I will not change just to court popularity.”  Doing something because you want someone to like you or you want to make them happy never really works (even if it seemed to in high school).  You deserve better and you deserve to please yourself more than just once in awhile.  Are YOU ready to start today?